{i love & hate you all[

I have come to realize over the past few days that people are, for the most part, completely oblivious. I had believed that people thought and considered things as much as I did. That while they may speak before thinking, they did at some point think. I believed that they took the time at some point during their lives to understand people and at least believed themselves that they understood where people were coming from and what others thought. I assumed that people at least had their own opinions and beliefs about what other people in their lives thought about things in general (people, events, etc). Maybe they realized that they didn’t know if they hadn’t asked, but they had an opinion at least. The point being that I believed the thoughts of people crossed other people’s minds from time to time.

But that is ludicrous, isn’t it? People don’t have a clue what each other are thinking, do they? I used to think people were just being polite in what they chose not to say, chose not to ask. But they aren’t, are they? They have just never thought about what is going on in the heads of their friends and coworkers. I cannot even comprehend not trying to understand how people think. How do they not get offended all the time or not stick their foot in their mouth all the time if they don’t know how people will take their comments? How many opportunities are being missed because people don’t even realize they want the same things someone else does? Do people think their lives are so full and important that they cannot take the time to try and understand the mind of the people they know? Like I said, I cannot even comprehend it.

Which actually leads me to my thoughts of the day. If so many people are oblivious to what is going on around them, to what people think and feel and experience around them, am I in the dark as well? Do I have my blinders on? Perhaps in my quest to understand myself and the people around me, I have overlooked the obvious. I do not know, but I have found it always dangerous to state something concerning others without looking in the mirror. So that is what I’m doing at the moment, seeing what it is that I am missing. What is it that is obvious if I would only look. What is it that I should have asked, but never thought to. What is it that I should have considered, but could not see?

If you have any thoughts, let me know. If you know something I have missed or just ignored or should have seen, give me a call or catch me on IM. No one grows in the dark. We have to place ourselves in the light if we are ever to be more.

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So last night I was watching a television show and the idea was put forth that in every relationship one person is dominant and one person is submissive. It was not postulated if who played which role could change on a regular basis depending on situation, though the idea was presented that each could fight for dominance or to be the submissive. The idea that each person would struggle to be the later struck me as slightly unusual, though it seems to be a concept I can grasp with relative ease.

I haven’t really decided my overall thought process on the idea, though I admit it is interesting if taken not from the stance that obviously any two people are not identical, but from the stance that within any relationship, one person is actively dominant or actively submissive, even if neither realizes it. My main caveat for delving deeper into thought on the theory is that I have at least one relationship where I know neither of us cares in the slightest and even from empirical evidence I see no real consistant basis for saying one of us is the dominant overall.

Though perhaps that I can only find one such relationship off the top of my head means I should think the idea through more.

~ Christopher]

As you may have noticed, I finally got an actual url instead of just tagging onto one of my existing addresses. I wanted just plain christopher, but whatever. I knew going in that my chances of that were pretty much non-existant due to domain squaters. Or maybe you didn’t notice since the old address redirects to here. Either way, welcome again.

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow’d to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair’d the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

~ By Lord Byron